Monthly Archives: February 2012

Prohibition

It’s closing time in the Red Sox clubhouse, Bobby V brought the Volstead Act (Look it up) back into fashion banning alcohol in the clubhouse. There has been no mention of a fried chicken ban, which I think is worse for the pitchers than beer. I mean honestly, if you’re a starting pitcher you’re resting 3 or 4 days between starts so who cares if a guy drinks a beer on his night off. It’s not like Beckett’s operating heavy machinery on his off nights, he’s sitting there packing dip and watching baseball. The KFC and Popeye’s is not healthy though, a beer is simply carb loading for his next start but the greasy assed fried chicken is just not good for his stamina. If they were drinking light beer then all the better!

I agree with former skipper Tito Francona when he told Mike and Mike in the morning that this was just a PR stunt. Beer has been in baseball for a long time. Look at David Wells, guy was half-drunk and suffering from a “raging, skull-rattling hangover” when he pitched his perfect game for the Yankees. Another Yankee, Mikey Mantle was hung-over when he hit the cycle. Actually from what I hear Mickey Mantle was half drunk all the time and all drunk the rest and he was the best switch hitter in all of baseball.

Now if the Sox didn’t implode last year this would be a different story, it actually wouldn’t even be a story at all. The truth is, the brain trust at 4 Yawkey Way needed not just one scape goat for this collapse, they needed a few. So Tito was a pill addict all of a sudden and the rotation were booze bags. If they went on to win the World Series people would have said “oh man that’s awesome, they won the World Series AND they were drinking beers while doing it?!?! Damn that’s like Mad Men in baseball drinking on the job!”

Remember that Cowboy Up bullshit? Yeah Millar was a hero for introducing his buddy Jack Daniels to the team BEFORE the starters PLAYED against the Yankees. These were position players not starting pitchers, they went out in the field that day. And it was great in our eyes, they were just a bunch of regular guys that drink Jack like the rest of us. If they lost I guarantee that story would have surfaced and Millar’s fat ass would have been playing first base for the Chunichi Dragons in the Nippon Professional Baseball League and somehow Tito would be addicted to crack.

Well I back Beckett 110%, if he wants a beer the day after a start I think he should have one. Lackey still sucks but Lester and Beckett are OK in my book. So fight the power Josh, keep protesting with your graphic tee’s.

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Dear Mr. Cherington Please Sign Jose Canseco Capas Jr.

Everyone deserves a second chance!

I mean the Red Sox are in need of an OF, and this would be the ultimate fuck you to Luchinno after he brought Valentine in despite Cherington not wanting any part of him.  So I ask you Mr. Cherington is a little tryout too much to ask for? And just in case all the haters were wondering, the man can still flat out rake. To quote the legend himself, “If I have no bat speed at 47 then y does the ball go so far when I hit it ?” I think he would be a real shot in the arm (see what I did there) for a red sox team that is really lacking in characters and right fielders. Not to mention a savior for a PR department that is still trying to save face after the beer and chicken debacle. If the A’s can sign Manny after 2 failed drug tests and a domestic abuse arrest then the Sox can give Cuba’s native son a try out.

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The End of An Era

Oh Captain my captain

Johnny Damon, Bill Mueller, Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz, Kevin Millar, Gabe Kapler, Jason Varitek, Mark Bellhorn, Pokey Reese, and Pedro Martinez. That was the starting line up for the 2004 Boston Red Sox on Opening Day. This season, Ortiz is the only one coming back in a Boston jersey, and that’s because nobody else wanted him.

In 1997, Varitek was part of the best trade in Red Sox history, he and Derek Lowe came to Boston from Seattle for the transient relief pitcher Heathcliff Slocumb. Slocumb lasted just one year with the Mariners but Tek and D Lowe were an integral part of the 2004 World Series Championship team. Varitek stayed on until just yesterday, capping a sad month for the Fenway Faithful.

On my other blog I wrote about Wakefield retiring, and how this season is just not going to be the same without him, Epstein, and Francona. Well, add Capn’ Crunch to the list of long time Sox players not suiting up for opening day. That’s life, people retire but it’s sad to see the team that broke the 86 year curse is fading away. Of the 04 team, just Youk and Big Pop-up remain.

It is sad to see Varitek go, as a former catcher I always thought of Varitek as my favorite player growing up. Hopefully he sticks around as a bench coach or something, I have a feeling he will be in a dugout very soon, a la Crash Davis in Bull Durham. Below is a few pictures that I think illustrate some of the finer points in Tek’s career. Especially Heidi Watney.

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