Who is the asshole that had Muhammad Ali throw out the first pitch?

I know I’m a few days late with this one but I can’t let this happen without talking about it. Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria’s decided to have Muhammad Ali throw out the first pitch of the season, trying to make a magical moment like the 96 Olympics in Atlanta when the greatest lit the torch.

The magical moment turned awkward when the crowd went from a roar to silence in a matter of seconds watching the painful scene. When the PA announcer tried to move some deck chairs around on the Titanic after the berg hit by chanting Ali! Ali! in a feeble attempt to get the crowd into it I almost vomited. Thank God Hanley Ramirez took the ball from Ali in the first ever opening hand-off.

Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. I never thought I would say this, but that was more disrespectful than Ted Kennedy with one foot in the grave and the other on the rubber throwing the first pitch at Fenway. Jim Rice, also on the mound was catching a mere 4 feet away.

But every cloud has a silver lining and it got me thinking about the worst opening day pitches ever, here’s a few. Ted and Muhammad don’t count, they can’t help it. The following people, they just plain suck at throwing a baseball.

1. Carl Lewis – As an athlete, you should never look like this. He was god awful singing the national anthem but this is even worse.

Here’s his singing, I just watched it for the first time in years and I now think it’s a toss up. This may be worse than that first pitch. Dude’s gotta stick to track and field.

2. Mariah Carey- Terrible.

3. Joan Steinbrenner – George’s wife would have been fired so fast by George had that been a regular season game and not the grapefruit league.

4. John Wall – This is awful, another athlete that can’t throw. Decent bounce pass from the point guard. On the bright side it was a Nationals vsĀ Orioles game so more than likely he wasn’t as bad as the birds.

5. Obama – He’s had some pretty bad ones. This is one of them. He should stick to ceremonial first free throws or something.

1 Comment

Filed under Red Sox Rants

One response to “Who is the asshole that had Muhammad Ali throw out the first pitch?

  1. Bucky

    Say what you want about the guy, but George W. Bush could throw.

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