Monthly Archives: May 2012

Top Plays

I don’t know if all these plays happened this week or if they are old and I just happened to find them at the same time. Nonetheless, I was blown away by every single one of these plays.

Just a classic triple steal. It is a coaches ultimate fuck you to the opposing team. To me it is also a huge fuck you to the batter, as it shows the coach has zero confidence that you can drive in that run. I also love that the runner on first totally missed the sign. Dude started stealing second after the runner on 3rd had already scored. I kinda wish he did miss the sign and was the ass that butchered his coaches triple steal.

Phenomenal team effort here. The catcher lunging to keep the ball alive and the pitcher going full extension. My only qualm is that both players then lay there writhing in pain like little pussies after the play. It completely takes away the machoness of the moment.

Not much to say here. Just a flat out incredible play that exudes athleticism. Can you imagine the range of emotions for that batter. You go from hitting a walk off home run in the playoffs to being the dude who gets robbed in a viral youtube video. Brutal.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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King David

I just browsing over Red Sox offensive leaders and saw this on Redsox.com. Just Papi chillen with the  Quintuplet crown. It’s Papi’s world and we are all living in it.

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Pedroia Potentially Out For A Month

Dustin Pedroia came out of Monday’s game against the Tigers with a thumb injury after making a great diving play at second base. That play, combined with a jam shot at the plate in his previous at-bat, has aggravated a lingering problem with the right thumb of the Laser Show. News came out yesterday that there could be a muscle tear involved and that the Sox starting second baseman could miss 3-4 weeks of action. Pedroia is hopeful that only a couple days rest will be enough to get him back on the field, but it seems likely that the Sox will be without Dustin for a few weeks at least.

If Pedroia was to miss a month of baseball, then the Sox will have to decide how to proceed with their line-up. The most likely and most logical choice seems to be to call-up fielding phenom Jose Iglesias to play shortstop and move Mike Aviles over to right side of the bag to second base. However, Iglesias has missed the last five games in Pawtucket with lower back stiffness and may not be ready to go for a couple more days himself. As of now, Nick Punto looks to get the start at second until an official decision on Pedroia is made. In limited playing time this season, Punto is only hitting .140 (6 for 43) with 16 strikeouts.

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Run Differentials

So I was checking out the standings page over at ESPN.com and something caught my eye. Every team in the AL East has a positive run differential:

This goes to show how good this division has been all season. In fact, in the American League only 8 teams are in the positive and 5 of them are from this one division. A couple other interesting notes: the +13 for the first place Orioles is the lowest in the division and over in the Central the Indians are in first place at 27-21 with a -15 differential.

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The All-Alcoholic Team Starting Lineup

Memorial Day is symbolic for cookouts, beer, American Flags, and more beer. It’s because of the brave men and women that we honor on this day that we are free to drink and be merry. With that thought in mind, I give you the Boston Red Sox All-Alcoholic Team.

Compiled is the line-up of Red Sox drunks, I tried to make each position represented but there’s so many damn pitchers on this list and not enough middle infielders.

Leadoff: Oil Can Boyd – P

Yeah I’ve got a pitcher hitting leadoff, and this is why. Dennis Ray “Oil Can” Boyd earned his nickname during “his drinking days” in his hometown of Meridian, Mississippi where they call beer oil.

Not only that, former skipper John McNamara said in an interview that Oil Can was too drunk to pitch relief in Game 7 of the series. Well considering the guy recently admitted to doing coke during games, I guess he was just trying to even out his system. He gets all coked up he’s gotta mellow out with a depressant if he wants to pitch. This makes the chicken and beer scandal last year look like a party at Chuckie Cheese.

Second: Jimmie Foxx – 1B

Old Double X was the inspiration for Tom Hanks’ character “Jimmy Dugan” in  A League of Their Own. Not only that, but the dude was a drunk. It was cool during his playing days but after he retired from baseball he stuck around and coached a bit, but his drinking caught up to him.

After baseball he went back to his hometown of Sudlersville, Maryland a small town with a population of 391 in the 2000 census. You’d think that the people of Sudlersville would welcome him with open arms, they didn’t he was totally shunned from the community. By the 1960s right before his death he couldn’t even cash a check, he was just the local drunk.

In the 3-Hole: Babe Ruth – OF

George Herman Ruth was a superstar during the Roaring Twenties, off the field he was very charitable and charismatic he also partied like an animal. Pitching for the Sox he was actually in pretty good physique, but when owner Harry Frazee sold him to the Yankees to help fund his broadway musical My Lady Friends (not No, No, Nanette) Ruth went to the outfield for the Bronx Bombers  and kind of let himself go.

His drinking got so bad that he had to sign a contract addendum in 1922 stating he will limit his drinking. Actually he said, “I’ll promise to go easier on drinking and to get to bed earlier, but not for you, fifty thousand dollars, or two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars will I give up women. They’re too much fun.”  Click on the link, you can buy the contract, for a hefty sum no doubt.

Hitting Cleanup: Wade Boggs – 3B

Babe Ruth is a tough act to follow in any lineup, luckily Boggs is a legendary drinker. It has been said that Boggs drank 64 Miller Lites on a cross-country plane ride from Jersey to LA. 64! That’s two 30 racks and 4 beers for good measure. That’s two cases, two sixers, and then he decided to have another 4 for a nightcap. For those counting at home that’s 768 fluid ounces of beer. Granted it was light beer but still.

When Boggs was asked about it on Pardon The Interuption he said that the number may have been a little inflated over the years. Jeff Nelson later told the story with Boggs having a mere 50 beers instead of the grotesque 64. Whatever it was, it wasn’t just once. It apparently happened on multiple occasions. Just about every time this guy boarded a plane going coast to coast, Boggs had 50 some-odd brews. That’s a lot of Miller Lite.

The Five Spot: Kevin Millar – 2B

I know Millar played more first base than anything but I’m not kicking Foxx out of the lineup for this clown. Besides, the guy would do anything to be in a Red Sox lineup so I thought I’d stick him anywhere.

Millar may have rambled on like a drunk in interviews, talking nonsense and bringing the conversation around to himself but he wasn’t a 64 beer kinda guy. One thing he is credited with is bringing a bottle of Jack to the 04 ALCS to “shake things up” and he and his fellow idiots took some ceremonial sips from a Gatorade cup throughout that series and onto the Fall Classic.

Batting Sixth: Bobby Jenks – P

During this spring training Fatty Jenks got popped for a DUI after leaving the scene of an accident at Babes, a strip club in Fort Meyers. Pretty original name for a strip club huh? Babes? Witty.

When Jenks was pulled over he told the officer he had taken muscle relaxers, which is not suspicious at all. When he had to do his field sobriety test, walking heel to heel and so forth, he told the arresting officer he couldn’t do it. When asked why Jenks replied “I’m messed up.” Well played sir. Oh yeah that accident at babes, he hit two parked cars and drove away. Smooth as silk that guy.

Seven Spot: Josh Beckett – P

Beckett was the figurehead of the chicken and beer debacle, Lackey and Lester were involved but I think Beckett was seriously pissed about being called out by Valentine. I don’t blame him, Valentine’s a narcissistic ass, but c’mon man pick your battles.

Still, out of all the guys on this list I wouldn’t mind knocking one back with Beckett. Boggs would be impressive to watch but then I’d feel a lesser man after not being able to drink a quarter of what he does.

Batting Eighth: Johnny Damon – OF

Captain Caveman was one of the idiots that drank JD before games during the ’04 ALCS, also he must have been drunk when he married that gold digging wife of his after he dropped his high school sweetheart like a bad habit. Sure she is built like a thoroughbred but that doesn’t mean you just pass the one that’s been there for you since you were a nobody off like that.

 

 

 

 

Bringing up the rear: Trot Nixon – OF

It was between him and Papelbon but this list has far too many pitchers. Trotman was a dirtdog, but he just looks like a boozehound. Look at that handlebar mustache, the dirty hat. Not to mention, when the Sox won the Series in 04, I’ll never forget Trot going in front of the camera, pounding a Budweiser like a warrior and saying this one’s for Stone Cold. A dirtdog and WWE fan to boot. Guys a legend.

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Getting Even

The lord giveth

and the lord taketh away

One night after a walk off the Sox blow a save, and for the 5th time this season are unable to move over the .500 mark.

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Top 5 Red Sox Walk Offs

Jarrod Saltalamacchia sent the Fenway faithful home happy last night with a pinch-hit two-run homer in the bottom of the 9th off Tampa Bay Rays closer Fernando Rodney. The Red Sox have a storied history of walk-off hits. I have compiled a list of what I believe to be their top 5 in history.

5. Manny Ramirez – 2007 ALDS Game 2

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This picture says it all. If there was ever a moment that completely summed up Manny Ramirez, this was it. Manny crushed a 1-0 pitch over the Green Monster onto Lansdowne St. giving the Red Sox a 6-3 victory and a commanding 2 games to none lead in the series against the Angels.

4. Aaron Boone – 2003 ALCS Game 7

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One of the most heartbreaking moments of my life. Aaron Fucking Boone ended the Red Sox 2003 season on Tim Wakefield’s first pitch of the bottom of the 11th inning. This dramatic win gave the Yankees their 6th pennant in 8 seasons. This game is also famous for a walk-off that never happened. Pedro Martinez should have walked off the mound in the 8th inning with a lead.

*Yes, this isn’t a “Red Sox walk off”, but it’s too memorable to exclude.

3. David Ortiz – 2004 ALCS Game 5

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For the second time in as many nights and for the third time that postseason, David Ortiz ended a baseball game with one swing. It wasn’t the hardest hit ball of his career, but his single on the 10th pitch of his at-bat in the 14th inning let the Red Sox live to see another day in their historic comeback against the New York Yankees.

2. Carlton Fisk – 1975 World Series Game 6

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Fisk’s home run in the bottom of the 12th high is famous for not only beating the Cincinnati Reds, it’s famous for Fisk’s reaction. Camera operators missed their cues and the camera stayed on Fisk as he waved his ball fair before it hit high off the foul pole atop the Green Monster.

1. David Ortiz 2004 ALCS Game 4

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Ortiz’s 2-run homer in the 12th inning gave the Red Sox a 6-4 win and kept them alive in the series. This game is remembered for Millar’s walk, Roberts’ steal, and Mueller’s single but all that would have been forgotten in a 4 game sweep if Big Papi didn’t do work in the 12th.

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